The Boundaries of Love in SL
No. I have not fallen in love with any avatar in SL. So let's get that out of the way.
I wanted to write about the 'love thang' that goes on in SL. Not the kind that involves body parts that are Xcite enabled, but the 'emotion' kind.
It's been over a year now since I've joined SL and I've met many interesting avatars. A few of them have managed to engage in some form of relationship with another avatar while both have significant others in RL. Some have kept their SL relationships going (but not without their share of obstacles and uncertainties). Two have had to break off their SL connection and one had to leave SL altogether (as an ultimatum given by their significant other).
So I ask them,"What is the difference between love in RL and love in SL?"
Their answers were as varied as their avatars! And I was surprised by some of their responses.
A few saw no difference. They felt no difference. And of course, they were torn by their feelings in RL and in SL. Sigh.
Some just disregarded their SL feelings altogether, knowing that the emotion existed for them in SL but discounted the 'realism' of their SL emotion because it existed in SL, a VR medium. I asked these people, "So, do you feel the same way about your SL partner when you think about them in RL? Do you think about them in RL?"
Their general replies were that 'yes' they thought of their SL partner in RL and missed them and couldn't wait to log into SL to see them or be with them. I asked if they felt guilty when they were with their RL partners, and they said, 'yes'. I asked them if 'loving in SL took away their ability to love in RL' they said no, and as a matter of fact, for many, it enhanced the way they were able to love in RL. Hmmmmm.
I asked them, "How do you deal with the guilt?" Their response, "I just do." Hmmmm.
Feeling guilty is no way to live in RL or SL. What a waste of energy. Not only is it a waste of energy but guilt feelings can lead to 'sickness', even the promotion of cancer cells. Believe me, this is true.
Why does 'loving someone' have to involve guilt and pain? Love is suppose to be a healing energy, amongst other things. Why does it have to be that there should only be ONE primary person designated to be the ONE you LOVE on the level of partner?
Love is everywhere. It is in our cells. We are surrounded by it. It is who and what we are. Love cannot be compartmentalized. Nor can it be defined as one particular three dimensional state. It just IS. It is LOVE.
Real LOVE does not distinguish between flesh and avatar. Real LOVE knows what REAL is and is able to find its way and spread to others despite image/visual or even from outside the boundaries of technology.
Real LOVE is like light. You cannot escape it. It will shine on whatever it can reach. It may be blocked and thus shadowed, but it is always there. Remove the block and it is there.
The 'block' can be seen as the set of 'rules or guidelines' that we have been taught to follow within a modern society to avoid CHAOS. But what is modern society if not really just a concept in which to justify a means.
Reall LOVE is not selfish. It is not jealous. It is understanding.
If you LOVE, then LOVE. Forget about the rules and laws that you have been brainwashed to follow. Recognize it as a GIFT that you give your SELF. For when you LOVE, you are simply acknowledging the 'magnificence of creation', of your SELF reflected in others. It is not narcissism. It is the JOY of the realization of TRUTH.
But of course our three dimensional brains/minds cannot yet grasp that TRUTH, so what we end up doing is finding ways to express the three dimensional form of love, the 'emotion' as a physical feeling. Feeling of 'calm', 'warmth', 'goodness' - and this transcends into sexual feelings .... which is not a bad thing .. it is just a way for our three dimensional SELVES to grasp it.
However, because in a three dimensional state, we are still very limited from SEEING what IS, we cannot understand its greatness, therefor we revert to what we only know of. And that is, the rules and guidelines that we have been brainwashed to follow. To Love only one wife/husband, and that it is acceptable to love more than one child (of couurse), and that you can love your friend, or cousin... etc...
Our three dimensional brains compartmentalize LOVE into little departments so as not to confuse anyone, (really our SELVES) and so as not to promote feelings of jealousy, anger etc .. in others.
HOWEVER .. if someone gets offended by you loving another (I am referring to 'loving' and opposed to 'fucking' .. then really, their offense, jealous state, anger etc .. is another mask of FEAR. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of not being LOVED. When you remove the FEAR, then there is nothing else but LOVE.
But you cannot, we cannot remove the FEAR unless we truly recognize and are aware of the GREATNESS of LOVE and what it really means. Until then, we will continue to live in darkness, with our guilt. Never being really FREE. Never experiencing LOVE at its most finest!
For you see my friends, LOVE is our right. It is our RITE. When we deprive ourselves of our RIGHT, we loose.
Love is Love. Love is the only thing that is REAL. That is our lesson here on earth. That is why we exist. To learn the many ways in which LOVE can exist and to realize and once again and become aware that we are LOVE. Once we learn this, once we remember this, recall this TRUTH, once we are made AWARE, then we cease to exist as we now know it and become ONE - where we came from. As we once were.
So tell me, does a drop of water know that it is a part of a greater body of water all made up of doplets? Does is KNOW that it is WATER and not just define itself as a water droplet?
We are like water droplets. We KNOW we are water droplets but have not yet woken up to the fact that we are a part of something GREATER than what we experience. We know that other water droplets exist but still do not wholly realize that we are one and the same and that we are completely connected .. all forming something GREATER than we we can ever imagine.
Get out of your MIND and exist thru your SOUL. Be FREE to LOVE, for we ARE Love.
I wanted to write about the 'love thang' that goes on in SL. Not the kind that involves body parts that are Xcite enabled, but the 'emotion' kind.
It's been over a year now since I've joined SL and I've met many interesting avatars. A few of them have managed to engage in some form of relationship with another avatar while both have significant others in RL. Some have kept their SL relationships going (but not without their share of obstacles and uncertainties). Two have had to break off their SL connection and one had to leave SL altogether (as an ultimatum given by their significant other).
So I ask them,"What is the difference between love in RL and love in SL?"
Their answers were as varied as their avatars! And I was surprised by some of their responses.
A few saw no difference. They felt no difference. And of course, they were torn by their feelings in RL and in SL. Sigh.
Some just disregarded their SL feelings altogether, knowing that the emotion existed for them in SL but discounted the 'realism' of their SL emotion because it existed in SL, a VR medium. I asked these people, "So, do you feel the same way about your SL partner when you think about them in RL? Do you think about them in RL?"
Their general replies were that 'yes' they thought of their SL partner in RL and missed them and couldn't wait to log into SL to see them or be with them. I asked if they felt guilty when they were with their RL partners, and they said, 'yes'. I asked them if 'loving in SL took away their ability to love in RL' they said no, and as a matter of fact, for many, it enhanced the way they were able to love in RL. Hmmmmm.
I asked them, "How do you deal with the guilt?" Their response, "I just do." Hmmmm.
Feeling guilty is no way to live in RL or SL. What a waste of energy. Not only is it a waste of energy but guilt feelings can lead to 'sickness', even the promotion of cancer cells. Believe me, this is true.
Why does 'loving someone' have to involve guilt and pain? Love is suppose to be a healing energy, amongst other things. Why does it have to be that there should only be ONE primary person designated to be the ONE you LOVE on the level of partner?
Love is everywhere. It is in our cells. We are surrounded by it. It is who and what we are. Love cannot be compartmentalized. Nor can it be defined as one particular three dimensional state. It just IS. It is LOVE.
Real LOVE does not distinguish between flesh and avatar. Real LOVE knows what REAL is and is able to find its way and spread to others despite image/visual or even from outside the boundaries of technology.
Real LOVE is like light. You cannot escape it. It will shine on whatever it can reach. It may be blocked and thus shadowed, but it is always there. Remove the block and it is there.
The 'block' can be seen as the set of 'rules or guidelines' that we have been taught to follow within a modern society to avoid CHAOS. But what is modern society if not really just a concept in which to justify a means.
Reall LOVE is not selfish. It is not jealous. It is understanding.
If you LOVE, then LOVE. Forget about the rules and laws that you have been brainwashed to follow. Recognize it as a GIFT that you give your SELF. For when you LOVE, you are simply acknowledging the 'magnificence of creation', of your SELF reflected in others. It is not narcissism. It is the JOY of the realization of TRUTH.
But of course our three dimensional brains/minds cannot yet grasp that TRUTH, so what we end up doing is finding ways to express the three dimensional form of love, the 'emotion' as a physical feeling. Feeling of 'calm', 'warmth', 'goodness' - and this transcends into sexual feelings .... which is not a bad thing .. it is just a way for our three dimensional SELVES to grasp it.
However, because in a three dimensional state, we are still very limited from SEEING what IS, we cannot understand its greatness, therefor we revert to what we only know of. And that is, the rules and guidelines that we have been brainwashed to follow. To Love only one wife/husband, and that it is acceptable to love more than one child (of couurse), and that you can love your friend, or cousin... etc...
Our three dimensional brains compartmentalize LOVE into little departments so as not to confuse anyone, (really our SELVES) and so as not to promote feelings of jealousy, anger etc .. in others.
HOWEVER .. if someone gets offended by you loving another (I am referring to 'loving' and opposed to 'fucking' .. then really, their offense, jealous state, anger etc .. is another mask of FEAR. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of not being LOVED. When you remove the FEAR, then there is nothing else but LOVE.
But you cannot, we cannot remove the FEAR unless we truly recognize and are aware of the GREATNESS of LOVE and what it really means. Until then, we will continue to live in darkness, with our guilt. Never being really FREE. Never experiencing LOVE at its most finest!
For you see my friends, LOVE is our right. It is our RITE. When we deprive ourselves of our RIGHT, we loose.
Love is Love. Love is the only thing that is REAL. That is our lesson here on earth. That is why we exist. To learn the many ways in which LOVE can exist and to realize and once again and become aware that we are LOVE. Once we learn this, once we remember this, recall this TRUTH, once we are made AWARE, then we cease to exist as we now know it and become ONE - where we came from. As we once were.
So tell me, does a drop of water know that it is a part of a greater body of water all made up of doplets? Does is KNOW that it is WATER and not just define itself as a water droplet?
We are like water droplets. We KNOW we are water droplets but have not yet woken up to the fact that we are a part of something GREATER than what we experience. We know that other water droplets exist but still do not wholly realize that we are one and the same and that we are completely connected .. all forming something GREATER than we we can ever imagine.
Get out of your MIND and exist thru your SOUL. Be FREE to LOVE, for we ARE Love.
posted by Maxine Montale at 11:44 PM
3 Comments:
Hi Maxine!
I've never thought about love this way. The obstacles always get in the way for me. They block out the light. Why do have to put up so many obstacle? Where did all these rules and regulations come from? I did not see a difference between love in SL or RL. It felt just as real to me and unfortunately the obstacles were just as real as they are in RL : )
You've got me thinking again!
Take care
Maxine, you are so right about the "Love" situation in SL. There should be no difference between RL or SL. But unfortunately, Ive already met a couple men basically having affairs on SL. Just earlier this evening, I was speaking with a woman whose SL partner is engaged to be married. His fiancee does not approve of SL, so he is basically sneaking in SL time when she is not looking. This is not good for all parties involved, for my friend, for him, or his fiancee.
Great article, and thanks for getting the message out!
Hi Maxine and Ysabel,
your words really capture what is in my heart... to give and receive in any life. Love is boundless and only expands the more you give it. If one relationship exists, having another with its own love in no way removes the first. the fear of losing someone to the other loves in their lives - family, friends, careers and of course other attractions can destroy that bond of love via the doubt, insecurity. If we can accept someone with all their needs to love whomever / whatever surrounds them we will love them even more when we experience the bliss they find in the universe, and yes metaverse.
peace... V.
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