Image Distortion and Mind Yoga
Efforts to blog regularly are being ambushed by SL. That poor excuse is actually true. One cannot blog about Synchronocity and the influence of the Greater Consciousness in SL if one does not spend time in SL. That being said, my brain/mind has been processing much of my experiences in SL in a magnitude of levels. A revelation occurs almost regularly and a new blog topic is born.
In an early post (too lazy to make a link, sorry), I talked about how my purpose in SL was not about making relationships or having sexual encounters. It was simply to immerse myself in the In World and to have the experience imprint itself in my cognitive. To this date I can easily call myself a hypocrite.
Apart from living out my alterego in SL it almost seems impossible to NOT CONNECT with any avatar. I use the term avatar because despite an avatars connection to a person in RL, that avatars image has a lot to do with how one person in RL chooses how their avatar in SL relates to the other avatars. Ouch. Similiar to how we first judge people based on appearance in RL.
What was that saying? "Image is Everything". But is it?
My friend in SL, the one who posed the question, "... what's the point in having an SL if you set limits for yourself in SL..." is a very handsome avatar. He also has a sarcastic and dry sense of 'tell it like it is' humor and candor that I appreciate. I have learned to accept this avatar as a 'buddy' so to speak and like most male/female encounters in RL, the issue of sexual tension arises.
Now, I am going to share something that is rather personal but heck I don't really care.
Something happened to my psyche in RL that made it difficult for me to enjoy and express myself in a sexual manner. This was not always the case for back in '96 - '99 I truly believed that I had attained the epitomy of sexual freedom and expression. It was a raw emotion of SELF that came from within a place inside of me that seemed natural and of course, empowering.
I won't get into the 'why and what could've happened' to have made my RL person turn into somewhat of a sexual recluse but I needed to share this juicy tidbit as background for this blog entry.
So, here I am, umm, my avatar rather, spending time with a very handsome and witty male counterpart and one thing lead to another and yaddah yaddah yaddah.
IT didn't happen suddenly. I can only speak for my 'avatar self' in that spending time with conversation and the constant 'image vision' I had with my 'buddy' avatar made my RL person grow attached to that avatar. Silly? Not to those with whom I had this very discussion with in SL.
What started off as a spontaneous 'first date' in one of SL's beautiful waterfall gardens, ended up in wild, raunchy sex in a room in Amsterdam!
Yup folks. Maxine has lost her SL virginity!
The first time was not as uncomfortable to my RL mind as I thought it would be. While 'buddy' kept up with the sexual lingo while I remained somewhat quiet - somewhat, merely watching the screen as our avatars were performing 'hot and heavy' moves on a sex-gen bed. (Gotta love those sex-gen beds!)
That night, I had been broken. But it wasn't my avatar hymen that I am referring to, rather that psyche prison where the crime committed was 'conscious choice of a sexless life'. (Sexless meaning sex without a partner, for ME, Myself and I do very well alone, thank you)
Was I disturbed by the fact that my set out purpose in SL has been sabbotaged? No.
Was I bothered later by the mere act of cheating on my RL bf with an SL hunk? No.
Do I consider it cheating? No. (I'll blog later about why I do believe that monogamy is NOT a natural state)
Looking back at that evening in Amsterdam, I realized that I was put in a psyche prison in RL by sabbotage indeed, but the sabbateur was ME.
The SECOND time was different. My mindspace was ready to GO WHERE I had not been able to go in years ..... (with an RL figure, that is). This time, I was not quiet. The sexual lingo did not flow as easily as it did years back, but I got into it, and typing words expressing pleasure and satisfaction was a big giant step to getting that parole!
So that is the story behind this blog entry, now for the clincher.
The next day I met up with my 'buddy' in SL. And my mind was in for some yoga. I felt as if I someone had gone inside my MIND, physically and grabbed it and squeezed it and twisted it. Ouch.
What did I see after his avatar image rezz'd? No hair! My handsome avatar (most of which was enhanced by hair) was hairless! I did remark in a seemingly nonchalant fashion so as not to alert him to my "WTF happened to your hair!" "I loved your hair!" and "But that's what partly made me attracted to you!" "Put back the hair." "Put back the hair NOW!"
Huh? I was stunned. I was stumped. My MIND went OUCH.
We carried on a chat and thru the chat my MIND was still hurting. His image had been distorted, and all that I had as visual for a possible third enconter was dissapppointing.
Mind you, his newly bald avatar image was still handsome and it was the same sarcastic, dry and witty verbage that spewd forth on my chat screen ... so what .....
Then came the revelation that relates to this blog topic.
Despite IMAGE BEING EVERYTHING in our seemingly RL way of thinking, it also is THAT in SL. Just look around at all the HOT and GORGEOUS female human avatars strutting in sexywalk 2!
It appears that we do not leave behind certain prejudices or ignorant states when we immerse ourselves in SL. It may be easier to, but when you least expect it, like I did that day when my 'buddy' tp'd over, hairless, it becomes easy to loose yourself in THAT, WHICH YOU NEED WORK ON.
This was NOT the revelation.
THIS IS:
With image being such an important variable in SL and so easy to heighten and maintain, perhaps, once we get use to the fact that 'what our MINDS get emotionally attached to is NOT the image but rather the 'MIND' behind the avatar - not the fit and cut body of a male avatar or the sexy 40 - 22 - 26 shape of a female in SL, but rather the connection established during chat and IM's.
Avatar Images can come and go, but the MIND stays somewhat constant. (In a balanced person anyway)
I saw an autopsy in RL long ago - occupational hazard, and while watching the lifeless body undergo the process of strategic mutilation my MIND encountered its first Yogic pose. The pose of "Hmmmmm.....". And after the autopsy came my first revelation. "You are not your BODY."
To this day, my MIND stays in it's first Yogic pose of "Hmmmm". While in this pose my experience and journey thru this lifetime has been one of much learning .. and much teaching.
After the initial visual of a hairless 'buddy' and my mind had time to resort back to its first pose of "Hmmmm...." I felt centered.
I encourage you to try this MIND Yogic pose of "Hmmmm....". Not just in SL but in RL as well. This pose will help STILL your MIND and in that stillneess, make it easier to accept and see what is, and what is not.
I am looking forward to my third sexual encounter with me 'bald buddy'!
In an early post (too lazy to make a link, sorry), I talked about how my purpose in SL was not about making relationships or having sexual encounters. It was simply to immerse myself in the In World and to have the experience imprint itself in my cognitive. To this date I can easily call myself a hypocrite.
Apart from living out my alterego in SL it almost seems impossible to NOT CONNECT with any avatar. I use the term avatar because despite an avatars connection to a person in RL, that avatars image has a lot to do with how one person in RL chooses how their avatar in SL relates to the other avatars. Ouch. Similiar to how we first judge people based on appearance in RL.
What was that saying? "Image is Everything". But is it?
My friend in SL, the one who posed the question, "... what's the point in having an SL if you set limits for yourself in SL..." is a very handsome avatar. He also has a sarcastic and dry sense of 'tell it like it is' humor and candor that I appreciate. I have learned to accept this avatar as a 'buddy' so to speak and like most male/female encounters in RL, the issue of sexual tension arises.
Now, I am going to share something that is rather personal but heck I don't really care.
Something happened to my psyche in RL that made it difficult for me to enjoy and express myself in a sexual manner. This was not always the case for back in '96 - '99 I truly believed that I had attained the epitomy of sexual freedom and expression. It was a raw emotion of SELF that came from within a place inside of me that seemed natural and of course, empowering.
I won't get into the 'why and what could've happened' to have made my RL person turn into somewhat of a sexual recluse but I needed to share this juicy tidbit as background for this blog entry.
So, here I am, umm, my avatar rather, spending time with a very handsome and witty male counterpart and one thing lead to another and yaddah yaddah yaddah.
IT didn't happen suddenly. I can only speak for my 'avatar self' in that spending time with conversation and the constant 'image vision' I had with my 'buddy' avatar made my RL person grow attached to that avatar. Silly? Not to those with whom I had this very discussion with in SL.
What started off as a spontaneous 'first date' in one of SL's beautiful waterfall gardens, ended up in wild, raunchy sex in a room in Amsterdam!
Yup folks. Maxine has lost her SL virginity!
The first time was not as uncomfortable to my RL mind as I thought it would be. While 'buddy' kept up with the sexual lingo while I remained somewhat quiet - somewhat, merely watching the screen as our avatars were performing 'hot and heavy' moves on a sex-gen bed. (Gotta love those sex-gen beds!)
That night, I had been broken. But it wasn't my avatar hymen that I am referring to, rather that psyche prison where the crime committed was 'conscious choice of a sexless life'. (Sexless meaning sex without a partner, for ME, Myself and I do very well alone, thank you)
Was I disturbed by the fact that my set out purpose in SL has been sabbotaged? No.
Was I bothered later by the mere act of cheating on my RL bf with an SL hunk? No.
Do I consider it cheating? No. (I'll blog later about why I do believe that monogamy is NOT a natural state)
Looking back at that evening in Amsterdam, I realized that I was put in a psyche prison in RL by sabbotage indeed, but the sabbateur was ME.
The SECOND time was different. My mindspace was ready to GO WHERE I had not been able to go in years ..... (with an RL figure, that is). This time, I was not quiet. The sexual lingo did not flow as easily as it did years back, but I got into it, and typing words expressing pleasure and satisfaction was a big giant step to getting that parole!
So that is the story behind this blog entry, now for the clincher.
The next day I met up with my 'buddy' in SL. And my mind was in for some yoga. I felt as if I someone had gone inside my MIND, physically and grabbed it and squeezed it and twisted it. Ouch.
What did I see after his avatar image rezz'd? No hair! My handsome avatar (most of which was enhanced by hair) was hairless! I did remark in a seemingly nonchalant fashion so as not to alert him to my "WTF happened to your hair!" "I loved your hair!" and "But that's what partly made me attracted to you!" "Put back the hair." "Put back the hair NOW!"
Huh? I was stunned. I was stumped. My MIND went OUCH.
We carried on a chat and thru the chat my MIND was still hurting. His image had been distorted, and all that I had as visual for a possible third enconter was dissapppointing.
Mind you, his newly bald avatar image was still handsome and it was the same sarcastic, dry and witty verbage that spewd forth on my chat screen ... so what .....
Then came the revelation that relates to this blog topic.
Despite IMAGE BEING EVERYTHING in our seemingly RL way of thinking, it also is THAT in SL. Just look around at all the HOT and GORGEOUS female human avatars strutting in sexywalk 2!
It appears that we do not leave behind certain prejudices or ignorant states when we immerse ourselves in SL. It may be easier to, but when you least expect it, like I did that day when my 'buddy' tp'd over, hairless, it becomes easy to loose yourself in THAT, WHICH YOU NEED WORK ON.
This was NOT the revelation.
THIS IS:
With image being such an important variable in SL and so easy to heighten and maintain, perhaps, once we get use to the fact that 'what our MINDS get emotionally attached to is NOT the image but rather the 'MIND' behind the avatar - not the fit and cut body of a male avatar or the sexy 40 - 22 - 26 shape of a female in SL, but rather the connection established during chat and IM's.
Avatar Images can come and go, but the MIND stays somewhat constant. (In a balanced person anyway)
I saw an autopsy in RL long ago - occupational hazard, and while watching the lifeless body undergo the process of strategic mutilation my MIND encountered its first Yogic pose. The pose of "Hmmmmm.....". And after the autopsy came my first revelation. "You are not your BODY."
To this day, my MIND stays in it's first Yogic pose of "Hmmmm". While in this pose my experience and journey thru this lifetime has been one of much learning .. and much teaching.
After the initial visual of a hairless 'buddy' and my mind had time to resort back to its first pose of "Hmmmm...." I felt centered.
I encourage you to try this MIND Yogic pose of "Hmmmm....". Not just in SL but in RL as well. This pose will help STILL your MIND and in that stillneess, make it easier to accept and see what is, and what is not.
I am looking forward to my third sexual encounter with me 'bald buddy'!
posted by Maxine Montale at 9:32 AM
2 Comments:
OH Maxine! I can't believe this post. I really need to talk about this with you sometime. I am no longer an SL virgin either! Yep, the coyote got me! I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. I don't regret it but I'm not about to bring it up with my RL BF either! This makes me feel conflicted. I don't want to feel guilty about what was essentially a fantasy encounter. Part of me feels guilty that I DON'T feel guilty. What do you think?
Hi,
You have a really nice blog. Most of the people usually do not realize what mind power can do to one's accomplishment.
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